Rennet: To Be or Maybe Not?

As some of our more astute readers may be aware, no two cheeses are created equal. Cheeses are indeed, much like humans, as snowflakes, twinkling in the sky. Especially if you toss a wheel of it and let a few rounds of birdshot fly from a 12gauge shotgun. But I digress. A key component in many cheeses is rennet. This is normally made from the stomach lining of a calf, or some similar byproduct. Is this why cheese is good for the system?
The answer, is no. Because as gross as that may be to you, many cheeses are now being made using microbial rennet. This is a small bacteria that used to manufacture the proteins in calf rennet, but without the guilt of killing a calf. After all, it's one thing to use it's mothers milk to make cheese. But do we really have to kill the calf? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater, eh Joel? We here at The American Cheese University of America for Americans: Bumblestump, Wisconsin Campus have discovered some shocking results. The microbial rennet, is .00005 percent better for the system than plain old calf rennet. Why this is eludes us, but it does create some shocking theories. Perhaps the bacteria get inside our body and begin to take over our brains, why this would mean that .... nothing, nothing at all. Bacteria .... good. Conspiracy theory ... bad.

In other news, we send you now to our correspondent in Raccoon City, Gouda Mulrooney with a followup report to the highly publicized findings of Dr. Von Hasenpfeffer. Gouda?
Gouda: Brains .... grahkllghchhkk ..... brains .... BRAINS ... malktchktknk ... brains

Thanks for the info Gouda, interesting stuff. I hope that little boy gets out of the well okay, but it serves him right for protesting cheese. While you're out there Gouda, how about giving us the traffic?

Gouda: BRAINS....backup at clover BRAINS leaf .... take detour ... brains

Gouda Mulrooney folks, he's a true pro. Well, goodnight America, and remember, keep watching the skies but don't watch what you eat. And liberty and justice under cheese.