Ask Not What Cheese Can Do For You

Welcome vaunted reader. Perhaps you're asking yourself, "I know cheese is good for the system, but what can I do to extoll the virtues of cheese without ending up mildly insane such as the authors of this blog?" To that I say, whacky ducky boing boing. Or, of course, you could always use the "add cheese" methodology to spread the wisdom. For example:

You're sitting in your favorite Chinese restaurant, they bring around the fortune cookies. You read yours aloud, "Today, great things will come to you" then you wait for two beats and say, "With cheese." Your friends will surely be astounded, to say the least. You can do the same thing with horoscopes, "Blah blah blah vague saying, something about a Pisces, blah blah .... With cheese."

Soon your friends will be asking you, "Does it really say with cheese? Why would it say with cheese? Will you please stop saying with cheese?!?" That's when you have them. That is when you can open their eyes and tell them, Cheese is Good for the System, which as we already covered, is a universal truth. Go with Cheese my friends.

Cheese Is Good For The System

Cheese IS good for the system.
Seriously, can an effective system be run with a low quality/quantity of cheese? No. If you answered yes, then you're wrong. But ... but, no, not buttbutt, that's wrong too. The quality of the system is directly dependent upon the cheese within. This is an inherent truth. Hitler? The man was lactose intolerant. No cheese, or even worse, fake cheese. Ugh. Now, Teddy Roosevelt and FDR, those are some good ol' cheese eatin' boys. I say are because of course cheese is the secret ingredient for eternal life. Didn't know that? Here are some other commonly forgotten cheese facts:

1. Cheese is actually a form of the divine (assuming of course you're a Pastafarian)
2. Cheese used to be worn as clothing during ancient times
3. Cheese is Good For the System was actually a corporate catchphrase during the GoGo 80's.

(all above facts are approximate or simply made up)